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Jia Ling is in the hot search again.
“There will inevitably be various controversies surrounding Jia Ling for a long time in the future.”
What is the reason? Well, as they say, “different people have different opinions.” When someone becomes popular, there will be more gossip.
In these past few days, there has been ongoing controversy surrounding the movie “Hot and Spicy.” Some even labeled it with the “seven deadly sins.”
Some say that Jia Ling only knows how to market herself and is dragging China down…
To be honest, discussing the movie itself, the actors’ performances, and the production quality is understandable.
But if one lightly passes judgment on a movie, labels a director who has only made two films as someone who will drag the entire industry down, it’s going a bit too far.
No movie is perfect, and you shouldn’t go beyond boundaries and hastily label it.
Now back to our main topic today.
On the morning of February 18th, “Hot and Spicy” released the latest music video for the promotional song “There’s Still Time for Everything.” In this MV, Jia Ling sings passionately, showcasing two different images before and after her transformation. Her “big wavy hair + evening gown” look once again amazed everyone.
However, many people say that Jia Ling has lost weight, her appearance has changed, she’s not funny anymore, and the humor is gone.
But what does that matter? As long as she is happy, being true to oneself and loving oneself are the most important things in life, aren’t they?
But some people may be puzzled. After all the movie’s marketing, with the message of “there’s still time for everything” and remembering to love yourself, what is the difference between loving oneself and loving others?
First of all, we should all know that love possesses great power. Many movies use exaggerated techniques to illustrate this, such as love being able to solve everything, even resurrecting someone (just a side comment). Love motivates us, scares us, but also enlightens us, bringing us together and making us unique. Healthy love is not always easy, but it starts with realizing how we impact others, how we impact ourselves, and how others impact us. When we can identify when loving others hinders our love for ourselves, and vice versa, we can repair and improve ourselves and our relationships, allowing us to experience more sincere love. You may have noticed while watching movies that Leying only starts to change herself when she realizes that loving others was hindering her own self-love.
Now, going back to our article, everyone gives and receives love in different ways, so the definition of love varies as well. For me, loving myself means prioritizing myself, forgiving myself, and being content with myself. Loving others is a complex feeling of love and care for someone. I express my love directly: through physical intimacy, showing my support unconditionally, and expressing love to those around me. However, many people do not express their love in the same way. To love someone healthily, it is important to understand that each person has their own unique way. To successfully love oneself and others, one needs to strike a balance between selfishness and selflessness.
We may have all heard the saying, “Before you can love others, you must love yourself.” This statement differs from the meaning of our personalities and the unique ways we love. However, there is some truth to it. When you love yourself, loving others will undoubtedly be easier because you are more inclined to believe that others love you. When I don’t love myself, I often lose trust in those who claim to love me, making it difficult for me to love them.
With the confidence of being loved, the need for others’ approval diminishes. Desperate longing for recognition can influence a person’s judgment of who they love and who they should love. If someone lacks security, they may think they love someone simply because they receive the attention they crave. Loving oneself can reduce the possibility of this false love.
When I seek approval, I sometimes believe that I need to change myself to receive it. I often act in ways that are not true to myself in order to leave a lasting impression on those around me, for example, I may choose an outfit that I’m not entirely comfortable with. When someone loves me for who I am not, they don’t truly love me. Once I realize this, the value of that relationship is lost.
Although loving oneself makes it easier to love others, loving others also allows us to love ourselves. Interacting with others is a wonderful feeling. Based on my experience, finding someone I genuinely care about and who brings me happiness reminds me of my own great qualities, which enables me to build these relationships. For example, when I listen and provide advice to the person I love, I am reminded of my empathy and kindness. When I laugh and have fun with the person I love, I am reminded of my sense of humor and love for enjoyment. Accepting love reminds us that we are lovable.
However, despite the connection between accepting love and self-love, it is also important to maintain some separation. It becomes dangerous when you rely on someone else’s love to feel loved. Once, I loved someone deeply, and their love helped me love myself. But when I lost that person, I lost my self-love and believed I did something wrong. It was later that I realized I was never meant to be with that person. Regardless of the relationship, we should strive to love ourselves even in isolation from the ones we love; they are passing guests in our fleeting lives, and without them, we cannot grow.
Just as we must love ourselves regardless of who loves us, we must also love ourselves independently of the people we love. Loving others doesn’t always help us love ourselves. When we love someone, we sometimes make excuses for their dishonesty, disrespect, or even violence, leading us to believe that the problem lies within ourselves. Love can blur our perception of relationships and ultimately blur our perception of ourselves. When I struggle with self-love, I can only see my flaws. But I’ve found that others’ flaws are often concealed by my love for them. While forgiving the person we love is important, prioritizing ourselves in relationships is crucial. If trying to stop loving someone is what it takes to continue loving ourselves, then that is what we must do.
The relationship between loving others and loving oneself is complex and inseparable. Establishing our own inner strength is the key to success in all aspects of life, especially in building and maintaining healthy relationships. Self-love must come first, as it allows us to clearly see how our relationships affect us. However, excessive self-love can be destructive. Balance is essential in all things.
But how can we achieve this? As yogis, we have the ultimate toolbox to accomplish self-love and balance between loving ourselves and loving others. Here are 5 poses to help achieve this:
1. This pose is a passive way of opening up the body, especially the psoas muscle, which is one of the most important muscles related to our emotions. The more we release tension in the psoas, the better we can breathe throughout our entire body, stand taller, and feel more confident.
2. Holding a standing pose for an extended period is a great way to exercise both the body and the mind. Raising the arms, spreading the legs, and taking up space can change our thoughts and feelings about ourselves. A recent study compared these power poses to yoga poses and found that stretching poses in yoga are more effective at boosting self-esteem.
3. Placing one hand on the abdomen helps us connect with the gut brain—the area of gut sensations and intuition. Placing the hand on the navel and taking deep breaths allows us to feel the expansion and contraction of the abdomen with each inhale. Many of us unconsciously control our stomachs in an attempt to appear slimmer, but this restricts our breath. Full and deep breathing requires the abdomen to expand fully. Placing one hand on the chest allows you to access your inner self, the source of your true nature and unconditional love.
4. The stronger the legs are in a backbend, the freer the spine can extend backward. The Camel pose stretches our anterior body and opens up our entire being—counteracting the tendency to curl up and hide when we feel ashamed of our bodies.
5. In the Pigeon pose, we are learning to embrace our body even in discomfort, welcoming the world with an open heart (the soft front). You are strong, and you deserve it.
In conclusion, I would like to leave you with two sayings: “Treat others as you would like to be treated!” and “Treat yourself as you would like to be treated.”
