Some time ago, one day I woke up in the early morning in Rome, which coincided with the afternoon back home, and I happened to be discussing with my team about the updates to our private domain class curriculum. This discussion was particularly intense, as I expressed my opinions and conclusions, while team members tried hard to persuade me to reconsider. My thoughts were quick, but my energy was finite. Thankfully, with the support of my team members, I was able to enjoy the process better.
That evening, my colleague Toby sent me a private message, telling me that he wanted to have a phone conversation with me. When faced with such a situation, it’s hard not to feel nervous, as it usually means that something important has occurred. Similar to communication in love, we Chinese are not used to direct and forthright conversation. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was considering resignation. However, I didn’t notice any signs of resignation and proceeded to talk with him on the phone.
During the call, Toby was slightly nervous and reviewed the content of that morning’s meeting. Even though we both thought the matters discussed at the meeting were normal, my style might have seemed somewhat autocratic. Toby suggested that if I decided to do a live broadcast in the private domain class, even if he did not fully agree, he would support this decision. Hearing this, I felt a warmth inside, and I looked forward to the serious matter that he was about to discuss.
He told me that since joining the team, he had been continuously writing articles for our public account and had gradually begun to try shooting short videos. He expressed the anxiety he had harbored all this time: he was worried that I might have reservations about him creating a personal brand as a partner, and even feared it could affect our relationship. I responded with support and appreciation and made it clear that not only did I not oppose, but I fully supported him as a member IP of Qunxiang, hoping he would continue to progress, just as I hope Allen can be competent as CEO—only if they move forward, can the entire team advance.
In the call, Toby’s voice shook with obvious emotion, which evidently required a great deal of courage for him. After all, as an entrepreneur and a front-line IP, it takes a huge amount of effort. His willingness to take on these challenges stems from his personal value being recognized and affirmed within the company. I understood his emotions and decisions and once again expressed my trust and support for him.
For a performance-type narcissist, having a social circle that reaches the eyeballs of three hundred thousand people is definitely thrilling. Now Toby, my partner, who was once an intern and subordinate, has started to build his personal brand. His performance is remarkable, he’s attracted a loyal group of fans, and he’s developed a unique and complete operational logic. Do you want to know what I think about this? In fact, this is a thought-provoking topic, related to the jealousy that founders might have.
Interpersonal relationships are complex and variable, and I greatly value each colleague who works with me, especially the partners and leaders who jostle in the business arena. They’re like flames, full of vitality, they are my troops, my brothers, my team. At the same time, we also have to face the dark and complex nature of humanity that lies deep within us. This involves a core issue about individual sovereignty. When plagued by the need for recognition, straight men often exhibit a ‘zero-sum’ logic—if you exist, then I don’t; if I’m here, then there’s no room for you. This perception leads power to become a source of suspicions and jealousy. Emperor Liang in “Nirvana in Fire” is an excellent example; his road became narrower as he progressed, culminating in isolation and betrayal from those close to him. As a boss, as the sole leader of the company, you may inevitably have these unpleasant tendencies.
Allen always enjoys clashing with me head-on, critiquing my views, and trying hard to convince me to stay rational. Toby is passionate about building his personal brand, possessing his own fan base and platform. Our handlers each carry their own mental models, styles, preferences, and views, along with a sense of territory. All of this is inevitable for a complete individual. While inspiring team members to achieve their own success, you must face the issue of an individual’s ‘subjectivity’ being ‘encroached upon’, a characteristic that highlights humanity.
As a leader dedicated to excelling and hoping to achieve greater endeavors, you will see this point, accept it, and traverse the process. Because the struggle for subjectivity is only one aspect of the issue, more importantly, it is better that many flourish than one shine alone. After the age of thirty, I came to clearly understand that I cannot be a frontline tactician for life, it was just a stage in my journey. Deep down, I yearn to be an entrepreneur with broad influence.
The individual impact directly facing the audience is limited, but through a group of people performing on multiple platforms, what the audience encounters will be richer and more splendid.
Better to bloom collectively than to blossom alone. I did not understand this before, but now I fully grasp it. First, an individual’s limitations are manifested in time, emotional fluctuations, energy, and vitality. Therefore, as a founder, the company should be your most important masterpiece, not your personal brand. Personal branding is a core means to propel company growth, not just mine, Toby’s too; they together form the steps for company development. The transmission and nurturing of personal brands and handlers from generation to generation progress hand in hand.
Secondly, as a founder, you must understand: letting partners and leaders bloom will inevitably allow you to bloom as well. The shared prosperity of the company not only provides nourishment for the continuity of culture and tradition but also promotes an interconnection of energy. Toby, as a unique branding personality, naturally needs his platform and space for expression. And a CEO persona like Allen needs his battlefield and to handle various trivial matters in order to be coordinated, orderly, and robustly grown.
Allowing others to grow does not hinder one’s own advancement but allows me to share in the incremental growth they bring.
In the development of a company and personal growth journeys, expanding one’s outlook is crucial. Once the outlook is expanded, we find ourselves more relaxed and broad-minded. This nourishment comes not only on a personal level but also from a transformation and evolution towards ‘the divine self’.
Everyone has the potential to become ‘a god’, and I myself am on this path. Here, I want to thank Toby for his transparency as a partner and the energy connection we give each other.
In my daily life, I enjoy sharing ten moments on my circle of friends, covering topics such as travel, case sharing, traffic growth, and entrepreneurial resources. For those interested in learning more, I sincerely invite you to add my personal WeChat. Just scan the QR code below and send an introduction when adding me, so we can improve together.
