For entrepreneurs, emotions are a luxury, because their emotional accounts are usually in deficit. On the entrepreneurial path, both male and female entrepreneurs are endowed with an abundance of male hormones, using this drive to make money, while other aspects of life—such as family, children, rest, and entertainment—often become secondary or serve the purpose of entrepreneurship. Many entrepreneurs born in the ’70s and ’80s, regardless of gender, are in a semi-paralyzed family state, or have already divorced.
When a middle-aged male boss decided to divorce, he expressed an unusual sense of relief and freedom. A successful Beijing entrepreneur, starting with e-commerce, began operating during the rise of Taobao and Tmall and achieved success through intelligence and thrift, amassing considerable wealth. However, upon accumulating tens of millions in assets, he chose to divorce, citing excessive interference and demands from his mother-in-law. Loneliness and wealth became the norm in his life, but he denied this loneliness, believing that money could buy everything, including ways to eliminate solitude.
People often think that if men have enough wealth, they can use money to compensate for emotional voids. But how is the craving for deep relationships satisfied? The middle-aged man’s answer is: “Indulge lightly, sensual not lewd,” which, though puzzling, reveals his attitude towards superficial relationships.
I once mistakenly thought that female entrepreneurs would tend to use money to exchange for emotions, like men going to nightclubs, perhaps opting to keep a “little fresh meat.” But this is not the case; the vast majority of women still hope for self-completeness and yearn to find a partner who can shine with them. An internet celebrity, a female entrepreneur, expressed to me her desire for sincere emotions: True feelings are not just about sex and money, but more about the deep connection between two people. This female entrepreneur, born in 1985 from Jiangxi, after a perfect marriage with her ex-husband, chose to strike out on her own in Hangzhou for greater achievements and has high expectations for sincere emotions.
For someone who truly craves deep connections, the essence of a relationship is not simply seeking financial support or dependency, but rather seeking a mutually witnessing, inspiring, and vibrant partnership. In such a relationship, both parties can become better versions of themselves because of the other’s existence, gaining deep understanding and support on the journey of life.
A lady who had been through a second marriage once jokingly reflected on her fate, emphasizing that the connection she now seeks with a partner has transcended the traditional sense of marriage. For her, the importance of marriage is not as great as it used to be.
A divorced elder also shared similar insights, mentioning that after reaching a certain age, many men no longer consider marriage a primary topic, but are more concerned with feelings and emotions themselves. This shows that life’s complexity far exceeds our imagination.
As the author of this article suggests, the current perspectives on intimacy may shift in the next decade, but for now, what is yearned for is a deep connection where both can freely grow, unrestrained, whilst supporting each other. A true deep relationship is akin to a form of spiritual practice, requiring a willingness to grow continuously, even if one has achieved tremendous success in the business world, they may still be at the beginning stages emotionally.
